Thursday, January 24, 2008

The Thursday That Was a Monday

As I write this today, I'm sitting at my desk with my spit-dampened row of bangs wrapped around a pencil to keep the unkempt flyaway look at bay.

It's our board meeting day and the directors and their spouses are here.

Of COURSE, my bangs are going to stick straight out. They never do this!!!

My red suit was laid out carefully on the bed.

Of COURSE, today is the day that that white-haired Westie of ours decides to nest on it while she watches me get ready for work.

No worries. One of our vice presidents pulled out a length of transparent tape and wiped me down to remove the dog's locks off my top.

Of COURSE, it was one of the vice presidents who noticed it before my assistant did.

I was late leaving for work this morning because I couldn't find my black tights that I needed to help pull together my snazzy look today with my new black boots.

Of COURSE, I couldn't find my black tights. My husband had thought they were socks and put them somewhere where I would be certain I could find them ... and didn't remember where that was.

OF COURSE, he didn't. ... and the distraction made me forget my makeup.

But wait! I have an emergency stash of makeup in my desk. Improvise, improvise, improvise, as I use my eye shadow selection to take care of my eyebrows, my eyelids, my arch under the brows ... And the pink shimmery shadow that I never use, I had to use for a blusher. So far so good, right?

Of COURSE, I couldn't find my eyeliner. Did you know that when you use a brown Sharpie permanent marker on your eyelids, that it only stings a little, and adds a peculiarly aromatic smell to blend with your perfume ... AND it will even work over the eyeshadow. Who knew.

I would try the red Sharpie as a lip liner, but it clashes with my lipstick.
And I'm afraid it would appear that I had had Botox injections. Did I mention that I have to take photos today and appear in some as well?
Time to put something stronger-holding than spit on my bangs before I'm tempted to shave my head.

At least my eyes will look good. Grin.

Hope you have a better-than-good day!


Hilmarose said...

All I can say is LOL, I mean ROFLMBO!!!!! And thank you for the word art!

Joy said...

Oh my gosh... you made me laugh so hard. Hugs... have a great day.


Hilmarose said...

Hey again Melanie... Just wanted to thank you for your comment... LOL, I am glad the brown marker held up... LOL.
I read every post you make (I subscribe via bloglines) but don't always download or comment cuz I am limited on pc time right now... but I could NOT pass up that word art or the story, it REALLY made my day!!!!

Kim's Scrappin' said...

LOL , you have made me laugh so hard!! Thanks for the laugh, and the wordart.

Maria said...

Thank you! The DigiFree freebie search engine is going to list this blog post today.

geezee said...

Oh, honey I feel for you. I hope we were laughing together, cuz I would hate to laugh without you on this one. Hope your day got better. Hot fudge sundae reward or something? Thanks for the word art too.

Bethany said...

So funny! It's nice to hear that those kinds of things happen to us all! And thanks for the word art!

Kim B said...

You have me in stitches here! Thanks for sharing! OMG- brown marker??- hahahahahaha,
that's a new one I haven't tried! LOL
Thanks Melanie for the GUT laugh and the awesome word art!
OOH new kit looks AWESOME TOO!

Carole N. said...

Oh my gosh, I was really ROFLMBO on this one. How funny. It feels so good to have a good old gut wrenching chuckle and that's what you gave me today. A perfect way to start my day, too. LOL
I never thought to use a sharpie for eyeliner. That's a lot cheaper then having it tattooed on. LOL
Thanks for the word art. I love them all.

Andrea said...

SO TRUE!!! I LOVE THIS!! thank you!

Andrea said...

ok, but seriously, you didn't use a marker for eyeliner, did you? ouch! LOL :)

Leilauni aka "Rags" said...

Oh My Gosh!!! We sound like twins...I've had that forgot the make up myself, I tried the hot pink highlighter over my lips and it worked ok, until they got wet!!! Those markers work well with spit dampened hair taped over them after you wrap your bangs around a bit (I wear mine long). Thanks so much for the Great Word Art...I printed it up and have it hanging over my desk in the office. Hugs

Denise said...

OH my god, i'm so glad i went back through the whole of 2008. What a day! did the "eyeliner" come off yet?

i've stopped counting the laughs, lol.

thanks, Mel, for all the wonderful gifts. I have downloaded mostly everything you've gifted this year, so a great big thank you.